Saturday, September 05, 2009

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Another news article about brothers and sisters, but this one seems to tell the truth:

Sibling quarrels are a fact of family life. On average, young siblings argue or fight 3.5 times an hour, which adds up to ten minutes of every hour.
So, Siblings Without Rivalry? Dream on! Don't waste your money on books telling you how to fix an unfixable problem - spend it on earplugs instead.

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23 comments:

  1. My dh's response: 10 minutes of every hour! Those kids aren't watching enough television!

    Blessings,

    Faith

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  2. Oh, thank you! I feel much more normal now.

    Do you recommend a particular brand of earplugs?!

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  3. REALLY? REALLY and TRULY??? Then my 17 year old twin boys who fight over the very air they breath are....NORMAL? (or does this apply only to the under 10 set?) They got along just fine until they reached the God Help Me age of teenhood.

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  4. I definitely fought a lot with my sister. It makes me want to have only one child, but I guess I'll cross that stone when I get the first one.

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  5. This is so good to hear! It's also helped that my daughter is back at school. But they do play together, and I'm glad to hear that's the important thing.

    Also good to know that I can stop trying to imitate the therapy-speak of Siblings Without Rivalry. It made me laugh that when families read those books, the sibling fights got so much worse the researchers had to stop the experiment.

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  6. I have often thought sibbling quarrels were normal and healthy...I have this friend that intervenes at the first sight/sound of a disagreement between her kiddos...i have always felt she was doing them a dis-service..yanno taking away a childhood right of passage, quarrels ...I am gonna send those links to her...is that mean of me?

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  7. 3.5 times an hour I will buy, but my children can obviously hold a grudge longer than the average sibling, because 10 minutes my foot.

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  8. My kids are 12 years apart and it surprises me all the time how much sibling rivalry and quarreling there is between them. I tend to put the burden on my daughter, as the oldest, to be more mature and not play along. But my son knows how to bait her awfully well, and she likewise pushes his buttons and riles him up.

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  9. Sibling rivalry is how kids learn to negotiate disagreements and how parents learn to accept an empty nest. If it all sunshine and roses all the time, why would we let them leave?

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  10. We have taught our boys that they must get along with their brothers because when this military family moves, friends can't move with them! That said, even though my boys do get along better than most siblings, we still have to break up the escalated battles on occasion. I figure that learning how to live with siblings helps us learn how to work & live with others for the rest of our lives.

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  11. "spend it on earplugs"

    You crack me up.

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  12. does that ever end? my sister and i are still getting at each other....

    franzi

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  13. Oh yeah, that Siblings book...

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  14. Kids are supposed to quarrel. Mine are not supposed to hit each other or call each other names. The consequence of not listening and hurting their sibblings means the offended loses his computer account access for at least 24 hours. Vista is great, just change the parental controls for their account so they can never log in. :)

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  15. That's good to hear! My kids, though, are overachievers, I think. THey strive for 20 minutes of every hour. And rarely miss the mark.

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  16. Yeah, whadda load of rubbish :)

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  17. Please continue to broadcast this truth!!

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  18. As a mother of four and the fourth of six, oh, amen!

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  19. Why doesn't the fact that this is normal make me feel better? By high school my brother and I had put it all aside and now we are best friends. My kids? Hurting each other so that we have to separate them (as in living with ex and I on opposite weeks so that now I always have a kid - weird....)

    Yeesh. Kids. Go to college already!
    Wait I take that back....

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  20. my husband seems to think that our sons are the only ones in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD that argue. i think he needs to see this article. pronto.

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  21. This is helpful information. And I'd have to say it doesn't end when they're adults, either. Except now they have to save up the rivalry until they're together again. Um, not that me and my sisters EVER fight.

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  22. I linked to this post. Thanks!

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  23. I'd say my NO. 1 source of angst is my children fighting, arguing, not getting along. There is NO books on it...sibling rivalry doesn't describe it...they are not doing it for attention, or to compete, they just do it because they bug eachother. I wish there was a magic cure, because I'd be the first in line.

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